If you are trying to accomplish some goal, and something you do makes it less likely that you will reach that goal, then that is a self-defeating behavior. If the goal is reached, but the ways you used to reach the goal cause more bad things to happen than the positive things you get from achieving the goal, that is also self-defeating behavior.
But I do nothing upon myself, and yet I am my own executioner. Have you ever wanted something so badly… for so long… trying so damn hard… but time and again you ended up failing miserably? Have you ever wondered why you keep repeating the same patterns of behavior over and over again and keep getting precisely the same pitiful results?
All of us at one point or another go through these repeated cycles and phases. In fact, many of us go through our standard self-sabotage cycles like clockwork each day. As a result, we rarely live up to our full potential in any area of our lives. Is there an actual solution for avoiding these repetitive and limiting patterns of behavior?
And the answer to these questions is a resounding YES.
There is a solution, but first, we must come to understand what self-sabotage is all about. What Exactly is Self-Sabotage?
Self-sabotage is any behavior, thought, emotion or action that holds you back from getting what you consciously want. The Real Reason Why You Indulge in Self-Sabotage Self-sabotage tends to linger in our lives because of a lack of self-esteemself-worthself-confidenceand self-belief.
We tend to react to events, circumstances, and people in ways that hinder our progress and prevent us from reaching our goals and objectives.
Self-sabotage is also used as an effective method for coping with stressful situations or high expectations.
We feel incapable of reaching these expectations and thereby indulge in self-sabotaging behavior as a means of coping with the situation. Here is a list of typical methods we often use to sabotage our own path to success. We choose not to listen to instructions carefully.
We are incapable of saying no to others. We have too much pride to admit to our mistakes and errors. We worry incessantly and needlessly without looking at our situation objectively. We continuously indulge in comparison thinking where we measure our value based on what others are doing.
Here are some examples: Each of the patterns listed above has its own set of consequences that manifest in a variety of ways in our lives. Some are very obvious, while others might be a little more difficult to identify.
The key for us here is to list down and pinpoint the thoughts, feelings, and actions that are leading us down the path of self-sabotage.
Only then, through conscious self-awareness can we begin to put a stop to these patterns of behavior. These 4 steps can help you take conscious control of the behaviors that are currently influencing your choices, decisions, and actions. Identify the Self-Sabotage Behavior Your first objective is to identify the self-sabotaging behavior that is preventing you from moving forward.
To do this, we must become consciously aware of our daily choices, decisions, actions, and the resulting consequences. Use the list in the previous section to identify the various types of self-sabotaging behaviors you tend to indulge in. These triggers could include people, objects, specific times, events, locations, etc.
What specifically triggers this behavior?Call it getting in your own way, call it self-defeating behavior, call it accidentally-on-purpose shooting yourself in the foot.
Whatever you call it, if you have a goal, you can make sure it .
Any behavior you engage in that is self-sabotaging, that takes you away from what you want, or that distracts you from your goals is behavior that is self-defeating. These behaviors zap your vitality, leaving you exhausted and without access to the powerful energy you need to create your best life.
Mar 22, · Journal Entry # Self-defeating Patterns Write about one of your self-defeating behavior patterns. The exact defintion of loner is someone who prefers not to associate with others, and when I look at that defintion, I see myself. Your use of any information or materials on the All About Psychology website is entirely at your own risk, for which we shall not be liable.
Previously Submitted Psychology Questions & Answers Click below to read contributions from other visitors to the Psychology Q & A page. Repeat this process for one of your self-defeating thought patterns of for one of your self-defeating emotional patterns: One of my self-defeating thought patterns is that I often wonder if I am indeed smart enough to complete college.
I often think this during class while questions are being asked and frankly I have no clue many times. Write about one of your self-defeating behavior patterns. One of my self-defeating behavior patterns is that I always wait until the last minute to do my assignments.
For example, in my college class I know about all of the assignment and when they are due%(1).